September 12, 2008

Road Rage

Correct me if I'm wrong but the purpose of two lanes going one way is so that the good, read: fast, drivers can pass up the slow, read: pussy, drivers, right? So why the hell are there always two guys - and yes, they are almost always male - in semi-trucks driving down the damn freeway side by side for 10 damn miles? It's times like these I wish I had a CB radio. I'd be all, "Breaker 99, this is Queen Bitch in the red SUV behind you. If the two of you could just pull over to the side of the road, whip out your peckers, make a decision on whose is the biggest, and let the winner in front of the line, that'd be great. Some of us have screaming babies and motor mouth preschoolers that need to get home before someone learns a new bad word! Over and out!"

7 comments:

Sarah said...

Ok. This is so much funnier than you think it is! This afternoon in the carpool lane I had 2 moms decide to have a PTA meeting in the driveway of the school so no one could leave. Had there not been 2 motormouths and a screaming toddler in my van I'm afraid I would have been forced to unbuckle and start moving people manually - with my foot in close proximity to their southernmost regions!

Karol said...

Oh, I know! I know a few truckers (from work..hey, it's a bar) and they do that shit on purpose. To be pricks.

Nice, I know.

Glad to hear you didn't kill anyone though!

Jen said...

LMAO!!!
I can totally see you doing that.

Karly said...

Heehee! I have a touch of the road rage myself. People just need to HURRY UP.

...love Maegan said...

aaaaaahahahahahaahahah hell yeah!!!!

Mom said...

Honey, it's clear you weren't around for the CB trucker craze of the 70's. If you had been, you'd know it's "breaker ONE-9" not "99". Poor little silly girl.

Caitlin said...

HAha!! I just found your blog and MAN, this post killed me!! Steel cut oatmeal out my nose! Well, okay, leftover pumpkin pie out my nose! Either way, funny stuff.
Nicely done, I'll be back
(but not in a creepy way)