June 23, 2008

A Way With Words

Today at lunch, Daddy was playing keep away from Aidan with his flashlight. As most of you know, Aidan doesn't take too well to not being in control of the universe so he was becoming quite aggravated with the situation. Finally he stopped, looked at his daddy, and snarled, "Give me that naughty word flashlight!". I'm as serious as I can be, he actually said those words exactly. I, myself, can think of several colorful adjectives that could be properly inserted in there. I shudder to think which one he was thinking of.

June 14, 2008

Click Click

Aidan got a little toy camera at the store today. What's that? You thought Aidan never got any treats or toys when we go to the store? You silly, silly thing. So he got this toy camera that just clicks and clicks and clicks and clicks... it's very clicky! Me in all my brilliant wit, I start calling him paparazzi. So he's pronouncing paparazzi about a hundred different kinds of wrong but the best was when he told me, "Cheese, Mama, I'm pepperoni!" Click, click, click...

June 12, 2008

Something Might Be Wrong With Me

I can't believe I'm about to tell everyone about this... I'm kind of an idiot. My first clue was last week while getting gas. I've successfully pumped my own gas for quite some time now, never really had to think much about it, I like to spend the time cursing oil companies. So I swipe my card, get approved, pick up the nozzle, and try to choose my grade of gas. Problem starts here. I want Regular but only the Diesel is flashing. I hit the Regular button, oh about a thousand times, before I slam the nozzle back in and cancel the transaction. "Stupid damn pump, what the hell?!?!" I jump in the truck, speed to the next pump, swipe my card, get approved, pick up the nozzle, and here we go again. Now the few people I've told this to seem to have figured out what's happening. If you have it figured out, I don't want to hear it! Just picture me holding the nozzle, wildly slapping the Regular button, glaring at the flashing Diesel light, and muttering the most vile 4-letter word combos imaginable. I was beyond irritated. So I decide to push the Attendant Help button and ask what the sam-hell is going on.


Attendant - "Can I help you?"
Me - "Uh, yeah, I need Regular gas but the Diesel is flashing
and it won't let me choose anything else!
What's wrong with it?"
Attendant - after a short pause, "Ma'am, you're holding
the green Diesel nozzle, you have to use the black
nozzle to get anything but Diesel."
Me - "Oh, okay."


Alright, enough laughing. If you wanna hear incident #2, seriously, quit laughing, this one's good! Yesterday I called Barnes & Noble to see if they had a book in stock. They said they did so I went to pick it up this morning. I'm looking where I think it should be - Asher's wiggling around and squealing like a piglet in my arms and Aidan's running around screaming like a lunatic. I'm pretending not to know him and act like I'm looking around for his irresponsible mother. It's just a fun game I like to play sometimes. Anywhooo, finally someone asks if they can help and he goes to look up the book. Then he tells me they don't have it in stock. "Really, I called yesterday and they told me they had it here! Did somebody buy the last one?" He says maybe they looked and saw that we can get it but it's not been in stock here for quite some time. Fine, whatever, idiots, so I've driven all the way out here with these two mini-psychos and you don't have the book now? Great! It's only after I've gathered the spawn and stomped back to the truck that I realize I'm at Borders, not Barnes & Noble. Alright, enough laughing. Really, quit laughing at me!

June 8, 2008

Bedtime Shenanigans

Man, the boys gave me tons of blog inspiration today. The offender for this one was Aidan. Big shocker, I know. We've settled into a bedtime routine, it goes like this... after being put to bed, we hear a him meekly yell under his bedroom door no less than 3 times. The first time is usually for Baby and Puppy, the second time is to get a small drink of water, and of course he needs to go potty twice at least. Tonight he was going potty and I went in there to put his training pants on (yeah, we're having no progress on the bedwetting front). I asked him if he was done and he told me he had to do something first. He picked up Baby, spread his legs, and held him over the toilet. Then he picked up Puppy, spread his legs, and held him over the toilet. Then he picked both of them up, hugged them and said, "Good job, boys!".

Asher Can Talk!

I imagine he can say this because he hears Daddy and I yell it out no less that 100 times every single day. Whatever the reason - Asher is 9 months old and the kid speaks. Call me biased, but I think my kid's a genius. I do find it funny (and slightly troublesome) that Asher only yells it, never says it quietly. A sign that maybe we yell too much?

How to Speak Aidan

Aidan is killing me today with his mispronounciations.
I simply must share...
Conversation 1
  • Aidan - "Mama, could you get me some batteries?"
  • Me - "What kind do you need, double A?"
  • Aidan - "Yeah, I need double 8."

Conversation 2

  • Me - "Aidan, hand me that bag of mangos."
  • Aidan - "Here ya go, Mama, here's your bingos."

Conversation 3

  • Aidan - "What are you makin', Mama?"
  • Me - "Deviled eggs."
  • Aidan - "Oh, double eggs? Okay, that sounds great, I love double eggs!"

The word delicious is the latest ongoing mispronounciation we've been working on. Aidan insists on saying "balicious". A typical conversation we have 20 times a day goes like this.

  • Aidan - "This is so balicious!"
  • Me - "No, son, it's dee-licious, not balicious."
  • Aidan - "Oh, balicious?"
  • Me - "No, say dee.
  • Aidan - "dee."
  • Me - "Say lishus."
  • Aidan - "lishus."
  • Me - "Now say delicious"
  • Aidan - "balicious"

That's when I just give up wait around until we go through it again in 30 minutes.

June 7, 2008

Boys Are Gross

Lately Aidan seems to be having a slight issue with tooting. The boy can clear a room with one silent-but-deadly. After he has been in the bathroom awhile, I swear the smell rivals a grown man - not to mention sheer quantity. He's so thoughtful to never flush anymore so I get to see every specimen. 

So back to cuttin' the cheese... Aidan just doesn't seem to be able to control it at times. He lets 'em fly just straining, or jumping, or sitting, or standing, or running... you get the picture. He also seems able to let 'em fly on command.

For instance, on Friday when Daddy was leaving the house to go back to work after lunch, Aidan was kissing him goodbye for the hundredth time. After the last kiss he bent over a little and said, "I love you, Daddy, I'll see you after work!" and then he willed a somewhat loud stinker. The look on Daddy's face was classic. I'm tearing up from laughing about it right now.

Aidan was thrilled with himself and spent the next few minutes struggling to bless us with a several more bombs. Asher and I were beside ourselves with appreciation. Please understand that I mean the polar opposite by that. Sad to say I've got nothing to show such as a picture or video and even if I did, you still won't understand until you've been personally exposed. Pray that day never comes.

June 3, 2008

Swimmin' Country Style

The first thing we did once we got into town was go out in the boondocks and found a creek to swim in. When we got there Aidan walked down to the water and stood a minute. Then he turned around and looked at me and said, "I thought we were going swimming, Mama?". I said, "We are, this a creek and we can swim in it.". He was not convinced. He got a nasty look on his face and said, "This is a creek. This is not a pool, this is gross, and I am not swimming in this junk!". I told him that was fine, he didn't have to swim, but Asher and I were gonna swim. He didn't stick to his guns very long.