August 1, 2006

FAQ

This isn't your usual FAQ because this isn't a ninny-mommy-blog and I'm not your run-of-the-mill stay at home, suburban mom. There was a time when I had some actual questions that I received from random idiots on the internet followed by the expected smart-ass responses. It was funny shit, if I do say so myself. However, a blog is, by definition, a truly narcissistic endeavor. So I thought to myself, Self, you're going about this FAQ thing the wrong way. This needs to be about you! So here are some of MY frequently asked questions...

What the sam-hell is wrong with you/them?

Is that supposed to be funny?

Why are you still talking to me?

Why, oh why, did they cancel Medium?

Aw shit, ya think that was caught on camera?

What did I do in a past life to deserve this?

Who the fuck asked you?

When did I get so damn old???

The Words That Changed Me

I realize that people who don't know us will read a quick mention of an Anna here and wonder. People want to know but don't ask. I wish they'd just ask rather than ignore her. But that's a post for another day.  Here's the story of Anna.

At 30 weeks pregnant with our second child, a girl we were to name Anna, my water broke and I was admitted to the hospital to await the inevitable premature birth. After a couple days I still hadn't gone into labor. Ultrasounds and fetal monitors showed that she was doing fine and so we waited.

On the morning of the 7th day I woke up and put on the monitor at 8am. She was right there as usual. 2 hours later my dr felt my abdomen harden in a contraction that I couldn't feel yet. He did a quick ultrasound to see her position and readied me to move into a delivery room. An hour later I settled into the room and the nurses started to position the monitors on my stomach. And that's when I first saw the looks of worry.

I'm sure anyone who's been through it remembers exactly the words the doctor or nurse or tech said to let them know their baby or babies were... gone.

"Oh, Amanda, I think the worst has happened."




That's what I heard. I really just thought the nurse wasn't looking in the right place. I heard her on the monitor 3 hours before. Strong as usual, nothing off at all. They just HAD to be looking in the wrong place. "Give me the goddamn thing, I'll find it, I've been doing it 10 times a day every day for 7 days now, just give it to me!" But my dr was right, the worst had happened. She was just gone. We could have pink crap everywhere and I could fill this blog with posts about how she drives me crazy. But I don't have that . We got screwed.

On February 26, 2006 at 3pm, Anna Reese was born in perfect, agonizing silence weighing 3lbs 10oz. 

So there it is. The story of Anna. Painfully absent every day of our lives.

About Me

I'm working on becoming the perfect mixture of June Cleaver and Betty Crocker... except that I can't cook... and I don't do laundry... actually I'm a terrible housewife. Okay, maybe I'm more likely a mix of Peg Bundy and Roseanne. Yeah, that's more like it. (Brave New Blog revision) Only now I'm a working version of the modern housewife. I went from law enforcement in my pre-kid days to elementary librarian. When you get control of your laughter again, try this one on for size - I was a Kindergarten Para for an entire school year. And everyone survived. I think I'm growing as a person...

I'm definitely the sarcastic, quirky one in my group of friends. Our household is crazy! We might not be perfect, my kids might not be perfect (duh!), our lives might not be perfect, but we make it work out just fine.

(Brave New Blog revision)